Late this evening, the BOFH must have decided to come to Fitz college in an attempt to kill Emma Bennett (the incompetent criminal). He didn’t bank on there being a Fitz Cooking Party (who were expecting the ingredients for BOFH casserole). He was stupidly carrying his BFG-9000. He was an obvious assassin from the moment he was spotted - either it was a CPS-2000 in his pocket or he was extremely pleased to see us.

The BOFH was knocked unconscious with a particularly nasty half-piece of leek by Lady Diamond. The Fitz mafia then carried the recumbant body to underneath a second storey window underneath F staircase (come and get us - make our day - it’s too quiet out here - this pathetic attempt is the first thing we’ve seen!).

A large unsafe was then hauled to the window, filled with large amounts of cheese (Scottish Mature Cheddar - on special offer at Sainsbury at the moment) and dropped onto the corpse-to-be-again by Tigger. There was a short whistling sound and then a loud but very short squelching sound.